Honestly
I now finally accept the fact that were not close anymore. I kinda don’t want anything to do with you anymore. Nothing personal I just don’t.
I got no home but i still strive to live
When your walking or driving past local grocery stores or even near your local mall there are homeless people. When you think about them what is the first thing that comes to mind? Oh there homeless because they obviously did something wrong, they wouldn’t be where they were today because they didn’t do something right. I seriously truly thought that way. I thought that all homeless people were either druggies or just people who straight up didn’t care about life. Today though i came to the realization that in some cases this turn of events may not actually be their fault. Today I went to Safeway and got out of my car in the parking lot. I gave the homeless man my leftover food and went inside safeway. On the way out my friend got the wrong thing from safeway and had to return it and my other friend joined her. So i walked back to my car and saw the homeless guy still standing there. I went up to him and and gave him two dollars and read his sign which read “Need Food, Money, Gas, Job, I have 2 kids that i need help feeding”. I asked him if he was laid off and he gave me a brief summary of his entire life. I listened and he told me that He once had a job that he worked 7 years for. He was laid off and last november of 2009 his wife passed away. He had no job and had to provide for 2 kids while his children still went to school. That moment it suddenly hit me that I should really change the perspective I take on different people. I guess the moral of the story would be the cliche “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. I think this epiphany was a great learning experience.
-This is really what I am thinking
Some place alone in the dark
Loneliness. Something that doesn’t necessarily have to be a boy to girl thing. It is one of the types of loneliness where you just feel like your not on the same page as anyone. The type that you feel when you don’t click with anybody at all. The irony of the situation is Im not a loner. I do have friends that talk to me and they always do want to hang out with me and i do feel like they are my friends for life. It’s just sometimes i feel like i would rather just be alone. I don’t know what it is like sometimes even when i feel no negative emotion whatsoever i just feel like i want to be alone. Hmm maybe I am just a peptomistic sometimes i guess whatever i guess that is life lol.
You don’t know me until you really know what I am thinking.
Rain
Rain.. Sometimes i think of its symbolism.(To much English finally getting to my head) Like if rain really does symbolize the world crying. Crying from all the hate and ruin that we’ve done to it. How it was it a peaceful place many years before but how we’ve destroyed it in so many perspectives like homes of other animals and even our own air and water. It’s funny how the tip of the food chain is the most fcked up out of the whole animal world. Although we have apparently have more knowledge then animals they can keep more peace than we can. That we have to lead to killing each other instead of letting the leader of each pack fight it out. And they say animals are retarded? Im not all anti-war and shit because i know thats how the world works but seriously.
Or…
Can rain symbolize the sadness of someone. That we look at it as just rain and someone can relate to the sadness that the world shares.. Hmm gets you thinking but this is really what I am thinking.
Venting makes you feel much better.
Vent #1:
K seriously.. today you fckin pissed me off.. Like foreal this one thing isn’t really a big deal but its just the things that accumulated over time that lead to the point where i had to fcking blog about this. You hurt me in so many ways I can’t even name them all. First of all i’m gonna vent about today. Does it really matter to you the way I act in front of people? I know im not fcking funny to everyone i was just trying to make the people im close to laugh, also like seriously i obviously wasn’t talking to you so why the hell does it fckin matter ? Can you not tell that I am obviously avoiding conversations with you as much as i possibly can. i seriously do not want to be close to you anymore. Second you had to put me on blast in front off fckin everyone? You fckin humiliated me. All i could do was just sit there and try to pretend like i didn’t hear it.I hate putting on the mask of happiness i always put on.. ugh you seriously piss me off so much sometimes… I really hope one day you do find this too to know how I am thinking.
-This is what I am really thinking
With All MY DOUBT There is HOPE
hope
[hohp] Show IPA noun, verb, hoped, hop⋅ing.Use hope in a Sentence–noun 1.the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.2.a particular instance of this feeling: the hope of winning.3.grounds for this feeling in a particular instance: There is little or no hope of his recovery.4.a person or thing in which expectations are centered: The medicine was her last hope.5.something that is hoped for: Her forgiveness is my constant hope.
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